Alegra
by Sunset's Crying
Summary: Every day, they all said the same insincere and unvaried words. But no one ever said what they really felt. Words are so easy. They help people think they're doing something when they're really not. Such sympathies are no better than knives. Tell me Gumi. Are you lying too? Are you too scared of the disease within me?


_Okie Dokie. So I'm going to divert from Len and Miku for jusssssttttt a little bit. I was simply inspired by the song Alegra by Rin Kagamine and it just felt a little wrong to not make Rin the central character...But don't worry. I'm figuring out a new Lenku fic as we speak! So here's a little one-shot in the mean time! ^^_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Vocaloid in any way, shape of form. The plot line is alllll mine, but some of the words aren't. There's pieces of the lyrics from the actual song are weaved in here. I claim no credit to them._

_And remember children: Reviews are always loved! Don't hold back kay? I can't get better if no one says a thing, ya know?_

_And just so you know, this short story is in GUMI's POV._

_And now that all of that is out of the way, ENJOY~~~~_

~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~

The day I moved into my house, I was miserable. I didn't want to move from my old town. I liked my old house, my old friends, my old neighborhood. I was so happy there and I was furious that I was forced to leave.

That day, I was mad at everyone. The movers, my parents, my older brother Gumo. After a terrible five hour drive, I had just enough of everyone. The lack of personal space, all the talking, the moving, the music, the noise and all the telling me what to do had wore away practically every piece of patience within me. The only thing that stopped me from exploding was the fear of my mom...

and even that certainly didn't stop me from sulking. Everyday, for the past week, I made a point of not talking and slamming every door I could come in contact with.

But all of that changed as soon as I got out of the car. Because when I did, I caught a glimpse of my new next door neighbor.

She was absolutely adorable and gorgeous, all at the same time.

She was the type of adorable that made my want to run over and hug her. But I held back with all of my might and just stared instead.

She was a slender and delicate petite with chin length honey blonde hair. On top of her head was a giant white bow that only made her look cuter. And her eyes. God, her eyes. They were big and round and blue. So beautifully blue, like an azure color. They were like…they were like….the sky. The kind of sky that's just blue and endless, the kind without any clouds. My favorite kind of sky. Then, for a split second, our eyes met. And she smiled. It was a smile that was brighter than the sun. That single smile banished all of my misery instantly. In that moment on, I knew I wanted to be friends with that beautiful girl.

Excited, I ran over to my mom. "Mom! Mom! Can I go meet the neighbors?"

My mom raised an eyebrow at me. She saw what had happened in those few seconds and she knew my captivation. But sadly, it was my mom that I fought with the most for the last few days and being the slight sadist that she was, she simply smirked and said "Help unpack and _maybe_ I'll let you go when we're done." To anyone else, it might have seemed like an innocent proposition. But I knew better. She may have been smiling but her eyes had that look that said _'do what I say and you might get what you want….' _I winced. Eyes like those held the guaranteed promise of a long punishment….

* * *

It was hours before my mom was satisfied with me. After I had unloaded my own boxes, she had me unload her boxes and separate them by item. Then she had me "help" her clean the entire house and for prepare lunch(a.k.a do **ALL** the work while she "supervised" ). And every time I did something wrong, or if it wasn't to her satisfaction, she made it _very_ clear to me. So more often than not, she had me resort the piles that I made and reclean parts of the house that I didn't do well enough for her. So when she was finally done with me, it was late afternoon and I was _exhausted_. But despite the hell I went through, I was still determined to meet the girl next door. I walked up to my mom. "Mom…Nooowww can I meet the neighbors? I did everything you asked…."

She sighed. "Very well Gumi. You may go. And here." She reached behind her. "Take this pie and give it to her family."

I gently took the pie. It was still a bit hot since I just finished baking it not too long ago…

Quickly, I walked out my front door and over to the neighbor's house, awkwardly ringing the door bell while trying the balance the still hot pie in my hands.

A couple seconds later, the door opened. And it was _her_. I almost dropped the pie. From a distance, she was gorgeous. But up close, she was such a stunning and captivating beauty that my body just shut down for a second. But I quickly regained my wits. I didn't want to drop the pie I just baked onto her shoes…

Nervously, I stammered out, "H-hi. I-I'm G-Gumi Megpoid. I-I just m-moved in n-next door. Wouldyoulikeapie?" And like the idiot I am, I pretty much shoved the pie in her face. But she just smiled that gorgeous smile.

With a giggle, she said, "Hello Gumi. It's nice to meet you. I'm Rin Kagamine. That pie looks delicious by the way. How about you come inside and eat it with me? Pies are meant to be eaten with friends after all…."

My eyes glazed over with pure joy. _Friends_. She just called us _friends_. With those words, the worst day ever instantly became the best day ever. Vigorously, I nodded my head. "I'd love to!"

Rin opened the door wider. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come in! Come in!"

I stepped into the house and Rin led me into the kitchen. As she led the way, my eyes roamed the beautifully decorated place. Sunny yellow walls. Huge windows. Delicate paintings and flowers everywhere. A sigh escaped my lips. "Wooowww."

Rin turned around. "What was that?"

Ah! She heard! "Oh, it's just….that…you have a **really** pretty house…"

Another giggle. "Thanks. Since it's just me and my mom, she decorated the house to how she liked it."

We reached the kitchen and sat at a table adorned with a bouquet of flowers. As Rin got out spoons and plates, I asked, "So you don't have any siblings?"

She sat down at the spot next to me and started to serve the pie. With a sigh, she said, "No. I have a twin brother named Len. He's something like a genius so he's at some fancy-schancy boarding school right now….and since my mom works a lot, it gets pretty lonely around here. But now I'm happy. Because you're here!" And with a big smile, she served me a huge piece of pie.

"Yeah." I agreed. With renewed confidence, I said, "Now you won't be lonely an-y-more!" The smile on Rin's face was so happy that just looking at it made me really happy.

Then, out of no-where, she sneezed. "Ah-CHOO!"

"Oh! Bless you! Do you need a tissue?" I offered one from the box on the table. She accepted it with a thanks. "Do you have allergies?", I asked.

She looked at me and said, "It's funny. I never had allergies before this summer. Now, I'm just sneezing all the time….."

With a wave of my hand, I said, "Don't worry it! You probably developed them late in life. The same thing happened with my older brother Gumo. He had an allergy free life up until about two years ago….I hope the same thing doesn't happen to me…..N-not that it's a bad thing or anything like that."

Rin just smiled. "Don't worry Gumi. I get what you mean…." She took a bite of the pie. A soft moan escaped her lips. "Oooooohhhhh. This is a good pie." After swallowing she said, "You'll have to bring more later...Now...tell me, where did you move from?"

And with a smile, I told her all about the life I once had. It was a story that no longer made me sad...

* * *

The months passed. Summer ended and school started. Lucky for the both of us, we ended up in the same class. We were inseparable. We did everything together to the point that we became one entity. We were _Gumi&Rin._

But at the same time, Rin's allergies only got worse. The sneezes became more powerful and frequent over time. She started to experience headaches and nausea that intensified by the day. Then, one cold day in December, she fainted in the middle of class. As per protocol, the school sent her to the hospital to be checked out. That was what changed everything….

Hours passed before the doctor came into the room and said that Rin had contacted some sort of unknown disease and that she would have to stay in the hospital until they figured out what it was. Worried, Rin's mother agreed.

For more than a month, I visited Rin's room in the hospital. I would tell her stories from school and all the crazy stuff Gumo and his friends did. During those cold days, I stayed by her side for as long as I could mange, bringing small gifts every time to cheer her up. For christmas, we set up a small christmas tree and decorated her room together. For New Years, I bought enough hats and horns for the entire floor. Lucky for us, the nurses only found out until it was too late...

But after two months, the doctors hadn't figured out what was wrong with her. Not only that but sher skin started to turn a yellowish-color. Weeks later, the doctors had come up with a conclusion: Rin had been affected by some sort of pollen radiation. They figured out that every time she sneezed, she released cedar pollen into the air. They said that from what they could tell, it wasn't contagious but….they still wanted to conduct more tests on her.

After a long deliberation between Rin and her mom and finally the doctors, they all came to a conclusion: Rin would be released from the hospital but at the beginning of the month she would have to go to the hospital to get tested to see if a cure could be found and to monitor any changes with her condition.

Finally, after so many months, Rin had been released from the hospital. But the moment she stepped out the door, she was mobbed by the media. They had caught wind of the girl with the unknown pollen disease. Nothing was ever the same after that.

With her entire situation broadcasted by the media, there wasn't a single person in the area who didn't know who Rin was.

* * *

A week later, Rin returned to school. And even though she tried to look confident, I could see the truth in her eyes. She was scared. Absolutely terrified. I reached out and grasped her hand. Softly, I whispered, "Everything will be ok."

Panicked, she asked, "How do you know?"

I hesitated for a moment. But instead of lying to her, I chose to tell her the truth. "I-I don't know. B-But I do know this. No matter what happens, even if no one else understands, I will. Rin, I'll always be by your side, just like this."

The look in Rin's eyes was one of relief. She grasped my hand back. I was sure that together, we could face anything….

But reality had something else in store.

We walked into the school building and quickly went into our classroom and sat in our seats. All throughout the hallway, people whispered and pointed. Rin was the new side-show attraction of the school.

Immediately, the other students flocked towards her and bombarded her with questions. Questions like:

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Does it hurt?"_

_"Does it feel weird to sneeze?"_

_"How'd you get it?"_

_"Is there a cure?"_

_"How'd your skin change color?"_

_"Was it like that before?"_

They shot question after question, barely giving her time to answer any of them. And then, she sneezed. "Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah CHOOO!"

It was a powerful sneeze that shocked everyone into silence. And in the air, it was easy to see the cedar pollen floating about. A look of fear crossed everyone's face. Immediately, everyone backed away from Rin, as if she was some sort of contagious disease. And in doing so, they hurt Rin. On the outside, she was smiling as if nothing had happened. But I knew better. On the inside, she was crying. Desperate to make her feel better, I shoved my desk right next to hers so that they were touching. I was not afraid to be near Rin. I would not hurt her like they uncaringly did. But then, someone said the wretched words: _"Don't give up!"_

At the mention of those words, the entire class spoke up.

_"Don't give up!"_

_"Yeah, keep trying!"_

_"I'm sure they'll find a cure soon!"_

Such cruel and insincere words. I think those words hurt Rin more than the fact that they moved away from her….

From there on, it never got any better. Everywhere Rin and I went, everyone within a two mile radius would always approach her with their insincere and unvaried words.

_"What a beautiful heart, you have."_

_"I'm truly worried about you."_

_"Don't give up."_

_"I'm sure they'll find a cure soon!"_

But they always told her such things from a distance. And if she sneezed, they only moved farther. It was clear to me that their words were no more than half-assed condolences. What they said didn't matter. Their bodies and reactions always told the truth. It didn't matter if they were "worried" or what not. They all thought the same thing: _"Just don't come near me."_

Finally, Rin stopped going out at all. The only places Rin ever went to was school, her house and my house. Then it was just my house and school. The flowers that once adorned her place had disappeared entirely. Her mom had started working more hours in order to pay the hospital bill. Len only called sometimes, unaware of his sister's condition. There was nothing in that house for her anymore.

And as time passed, it became harder and harder to convince her to continue returning to school.

* * *

Everyday, it was the same words.

_"Don't give up!"_

_"Yeah, keep trying!"_

_"I'm sure they'll find a cure soon!"_

_"What a beautiful heart, you have."_

_"I'm truly worried about you."_

And every time, no one said what they were really thinking.

_"Just don't come near me."_

It didn't matter that Rin went to the hospital at the beginning of every month. Nothing ever changed. Every time, there were just more questions than answers.

And then, to make matters worse, I started to sneeze too. Every time I sneezed, she got this worried look on her face, as if she was the one to blame. And every time, I would squeeze her hand and tell her not to worry. I would remind her that lately developed allergies ran in the family. My mom experienced it. Gumo experienced it. And now I was experiencing it. Every time I sneezed, I would smile gently and remind her that it wasn't her fault. That she wasn't contagious. And every time, she nodded her head but she never looked convinced….

* * *

Then, one day in the mail, Rin got a letter. It was from the doctors involved with her case. The letter said after great consideration, they decided to name her disease "Alegra".

When Rin finished reading the letter, she started the shake. Not with sadness, but with anger.

"These stupid doctors! What the hell is wrong with them? Alegra? ALEGRA? THEY NAMED MY DISEASE ALEGRA? Is this some sort of sick joke to them? They named my disease with a word associated with HAPPINESS?! The last thing I'm fuckin' feeling is happiness! The absolute nerve of them! They're no better than anyone else! It's the same words every single fuckin' time!

_'What a beautiful heart, you have.'_

_'Don't give up!'_

_'I'm truly worried about you.'_

But no one ever means it! **THEY NEVER MEAN IT!** They should just stop lying **ALREADY**! I bet they actually hate it! Everyone just wants an ending. A clean, happy ending!

They just make statements with those biased eyes of theirs. They're the disgusting ones! People should just mind their own business instead of merely spreading it about and just leaving it there. If they want to save me, then they should just stick with it until the end!

Words are just so fuckin' easy, aren't they? They just help others pretend that they're actually doing something when **THEY'RE NOT**! Such half-assed sympathies are no better than knives!

Tell me Gumi. Are you lying too? Are you just enduring my presence too? I bet you really just want to stay away too! I bet you're scared of me too! You're getting the disease from me, aren't you? I bet – I bet – "

And then my Rin, my beautiful, beautiful Rin burst into tears. On some level, I was a bit hurt. Did she really think I was lying to her all this time? Did she really think that I was just enduring her presence? But then, the world had been so cruel to her. It was only natural to doubt the only kindness offered to her. So I did the only thing I could think of doing.

I wrapped my arms around her, held her tight and told her the truth that she needed to hear. "Rin. I'm not lying to you. I meant it then and I mean it now. No matter what happens, even if no one else understands, I will. Rin, I'll always be by your side, just like this. Never once was I scared of you. Truth be told, I really do like being by your side. I really do. You're so beautiful and funny. I'm so happy just to be by your side. I'm so glad we became friends….So glad." And mock sternly, I told her, "And just how many times do I have to tell you? I'm just experiencing allergies and nothing else….Absolutely nothing else..."

Rin cried harder into my chest and squeezed tighter. And I continued to hold on. I was determined to be by her side no matter what happened. Ever so gently, I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. This was my love for her. I would protect her with all of my strength.

Except….except….my strength wasn't enough to keep Rin alive. A few weeks later, in the dead of night, ambulance and police cars arrived at Rin's house.

Rin had slit her wrists…and committed suicide. By the time the paramedics arrived….it was too late.

Rin was dead.

* * *

I didn't leave my room for days. I couldn't bear to see everyone's lying faces and hear their half-assed sympathies. Everybody talked about at school. It was all over the media. Memorial services were held. But from the window and the television downstairs, I heard. I heard the words that helped others believe that they actually were something useful.

_"How pitiful."_ They would say.

_"What a shame."_

_"She was such a sweet girl."_

_"She was such a gentle girl."_

_"We'll all miss her greatly."_

But their bodies always told the truth. They all thought the same thing: _"Thank goodness."_

Then, one day, Len barged into my room. Seeing the fiery male in my room, I almost cried._They looked so alike._ Len looked to be taller than Rin and wasn't as delicate looking but it was all there...it was all there...

And his eyes. _His eyes_. It was the same sky that rested in Rin's. It was all too much at one time. In the end, I did cry. Hot tears welled up and spilled over. Seeing Rin's twin brother stand there, in front of me just hurt too much. It was Rin and yet somehow, it wasn't. It just wasn't.

At the sight of my tears, Len's anger dissolved. Leaning on the doorway, he rubbed a hand over his eyes and kept it there. In a broken voice, he asked, "Why? Why didn't she tell me? I'm supposed to be her twin brother, her other half for God's sake! **WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?**" And silently, past his fingertips, a tear slipped through.

After a moment of silence, I spoke up because I understood. Rin never told me why but I always understood. "She was afraid."

Len cast me sideways glance. His eyes were red. "What do you mean, 'she was afraid'?"

Taking a deep breath, I said, "Everyday, everyone around Rin would offer their half-assed sympathies, never meaning a thing. Rin knew the truth like I knew the truth. They all just wanted her to disappear. They were scared of her and her disease. I think...I think...that Rin was scared that you would change too. I think Rin desperately needed you to love her that, in the end, she decided to not tell you. By not knowing, you would always be the brother that loved her..."

It was silent for a while. Then past his hands, a broken voice asked, "Didn't...didn't she know that I would have loved her, disease or not?"

I could have lied. But I didn't. "I don't know. But I do know this: to Rin, you were too important to lose..."

With a sad smile on his lips, he silently shook his head. Quietly, he said, "You really are everything she'd say you be..." Slowly, he got up and approached me. He thrust an envelope in my face. "Here...this is for you...it came with my letter...it's from Rin..."

And just like that, he turned around and quickly walked away. But before he left the room, he paused at the doorway and said "Thank you for being her friend." At those words, he left the room, never looking back.

I stared at the envelope in my hands.

Slowly, with shaking hands, I opened the letter. It said:

* * *

_Dear Gumi, _

_I'm sorry I leaving you the way I'm about to and I'm especially sorry for not saying goodbye. But you see, if I said goodbye, then I don't think I'll be able to do what I'm about to do. I think you understand the most out of everyone else. Living with this disease, with "Alegra" is so, so hard. It's so hard having to hear everyone's half-assed sympathies day after day. More than once, I considered committing suicide. I actually almost went through with it once. But then I remembered you. I thought about all the happy days we spent together. And I thought about how sad it would make you if I died. Just the very thought of you crying made me unbearably sad. So I lived to see another day._

_But now? Now I'm just scared. You're sneezing everyday Gumi. You say it's just allergies…but I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Did you know? You skin has taken on a yellowish tint. I don't know if I'm contagious or not. You say I'm not…but…I'm not sure. Not even the doctors aren't sure, you know? So this is why I've decided to do this. Not to save myself but to save __you__. I refuse to have you endure the same fate as I. That is not the future I want for you. I wish that I could be a part of your future but sadly, I don't think it's meant to be Gumi. It's just not meant to be. _

_And so, this is goodbye. Actually, I change my mind. I want to tell you a secret. I've always loved you. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I was in love. I'm in love with your emerald eyes. I'm in love with your green hair that reminds me of gentle grassy fields. __I love the way your red glasses frame your face. I love the way your hand feels in mine and I love the way your voice gently calls my name. _I'm in love with the way the essence of life just seems to radiate off of you. And that day, when your eyes first met mine, I think my heart stopped for a second. Never once did your words sound fake; I think it's your words that have given me the courage to live this long.

_I wish I could have told you this face to face. But you are all that I adore. I would rather have you live than to tell you these shameful feelings of mine. So please Gumi. Live. Smile and live enough for you and me both, ok? And I'm sorry but please, don't forget me. You don't have to think about me all the time. Just a little every now and then would be fine...So please?_

_I'll always be watching you from above. Goodbye my dear. I love you._

_ -Rin Kagamine_

* * *

Once again, tears started to stream down my face. I crushed the letter to my chest, desperately wishing that I could meld it into my very being somehow. As if I could ever forget her….

After a while, I walked over to my window and pushed it wide open. A gentle breeze blew through. And the sky was so beautifully blue. A perfect azure. It was the kind of sky that's just blue and endless, devoid of any clouds. My favorite kind of sky.

It's the type of sky that reminds me of the eyes of the girl I love….

And under this eternal blue sky, together we'll live and love, one day at a time...


End file.
